Still Running uphill. Swimming against the current. I wish I weren't so Fucked. Feels like I'm stuck. Lost in a sea of mediocrity.

I’ve been the saddest person in the world (quite frankly, it really does feel that way). I’ve been so inlove with a person incapable of giving me what i needed out of a relationship that i not only stayed and waited for him to come around, but gladly gave away every last shred of my self-esteem to keep him. i’ve suffered an unhealthy and demoralizing relationship but then goes back to it in hopes that time spent apart has inspired him to love me enough to change..or even try.On the outside, i wore the illusion that i’m over it and that the end of our relationship was best for us. but that charade was all smoke and mirrors and empty words.Every breath hurts. Every morning i have to remind myself to get up… every night i have to remind myself to stop thinking. I rode this horse long after it had up and died. Until finally, I saw him with someone who isn’t me.. that I have to remind myself these things all over again.