Au Revoir...

those two words that marked my head and broke my heart the last time that we've been together. it was you who said that words. both were hurt(i just don't know). i guess all the fun, sharings, laughters, and tears that we shared needs to be gone. including all the memories that we have. it was a difficult decision. but i didn't have a choice. i need to decide just to make the other happy. i cried and wept for days and nights when you left figuring out how and why it happened. but as what they usually say "there's a reason behind everything...", and so i leaved it as it is and was trying to move on. the other day you sent me a message of apology hoping that i've moved on. the next day we sent each other messages... it feels good really that here we go again just like before. i'm all over and it's done. another day for us. we just laughed for what had happened though our heart aches. this is how life works and test when it comes to what they call "love"...but the question that lingers me how can my "loved" one do this to me?! deciding on things that im supposed to decide and giving me option w/ no choices at all...hope i'll be able ot figure it out sooner or later.

i hate you so much...

Supposed that I have a gun at my right hand and pointing it at a person’s head who’s kneeling in front of me with fear, I always thought that no matter what, I couldn’t kill someone for the sake of mere pleasure and that there would always be that certain time where I would felt pity and that there would always be a tiny bit of kindness within me that would stop me from it. But now, at this very moment, I am in doubt of myself. I may be able to kill someone just for the heck of it, whenever and wherever I wanted without even the slightest taste of guilt lingering to me.

Thinking like this, I am in fear of how warped my personality gets as I’m driven to the edge each time. The farther I go taking this road to nowhere each day, the thinner the thread of my sanity gets.

Still Running uphill. Swimming against the current. I wish I weren't so Fucked. Feels like I'm stuck. Lost in a sea of mediocrity.

I’ve been the saddest person in the world (quite frankly, it really does feel that way). I’ve been so inlove with a person incapable of giving me what i needed out of a relationship that i not only stayed and waited for him to come around, but gladly gave away every last shred of my self-esteem to keep him. i’ve suffered an unhealthy and demoralizing relationship but then goes back to it in hopes that time spent apart has inspired him to love me enough to change..or even try.On the outside, i wore the illusion that i’m over it and that the end of our relationship was best for us. but that charade was all smoke and mirrors and empty words.Every breath hurts. Every morning i have to remind myself to get up… every night i have to remind myself to stop thinking. I rode this horse long after it had up and died. Until finally, I saw him with someone who isn’t me.. that I have to remind myself these things all over again.

Gone Forever...

I cry for the time that you were almost mine, I cry for the memories I've left behind, I cry for the pain, the lost, the old the new, I cry for the times I thought I had you.

Not all scars show, not all wounds heal Sometimes you can't always see The pain someone feels

7 things i realize in breaking Up...

...7. every race has a finish line

.. 6. breaking up is either letting go of a good one or kicking out a moron

.. 5. i lose a person bcoz more important one must enter

.. 4. LOVE has its own reason, DESTINY has its own way, and KARMA has its own judgment

.. 3. d 1 hu cries d worst:'(, is d one hu loves d most)

.. 2. TIme wont heal d heartache, but a NEW LOVE will surely do..

.. 1. its d end of d relationship, but not my life..

when u ceases to listen...

There are so many things that i would like to say to you, but i don't know how...
you're not listen'ng as well...

Fuck Life...